


Memories

by Tertia_Quinn



Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27362995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tertia_Quinn/pseuds/Tertia_Quinn
Summary: It's amazing what the mind will do and create to protect itself.Written for the Fiveya week round 2 Day 1 Memories.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 8
Kudos: 34
Collections: fiveya week (round 2)





	Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Wow it's been awhile hasn't it. Yeah I've got no excuse except the world's gone crazy and I've been trying to live through it all. This is my entry for the memories prompt for Fiveya week. And yes its late sue me :p I hope you guys enjoy it. I suppose I should also let you know that Five is 30 in this one just like the others. I've aged him up.

Vanya sat at the elaborately decked out table in a kind of wide-eyed disbelief. These people were insane. For the past 4 days, ever since Five had found her freaking out in that cornfield she had been reeling from one revelation right after the other. Apparently, this was her family. This crazy mixed up group of people who didn’t seem to have any more of a clue as to what was going on than she did…. was her family. Christ, she’d spent months on that farm wondering who she was and why no one had come looking for her, and now that they had…..she almost wished they hadn’t.

When Luther had first shown up in that barn calling her by name she had been ecstatic. Finally, __FINALLY__ , here was someone who had known her from before the accident. Here was someone who could answer all her questions and tell her who she was. He would be able to explain why she had been alone, stumbling into the street like a drunk, all those months ago. 

Sissy had said she had come out of nowhere. Falling into the street. That blinding white suit catching the sun and throwing it back into Sissy’s eyes, making a strange kind of radiance about her. Carl would always burst in at this point in the story, scoffing and telling her not to be foolish. “People don’t radiate light, Sissy.” He would gesture his accent thick as he made finger quotes in the air. “It’s not natural. You were just hysterical from the whole ordeal and your mind decided to play tricks on you.” He would then smirk condescendingly in a way that made Vanya cringe and go back to ignoring them and Vanya would once again be left to wonder.

Here though, here was someone who could tell her about it. He could tell her about her family...Hell, he might even be a part of her family...There was nothing Vanya wanted more than a family... But then he had opened his mouth and started saying things that scared her. Her ecstasy had turned to fear and she felt herself moving backward away from him as something inside of her seemed to click and stand at attention.

( _ _Never again you bastard. I won’t let you catch us off guard ever again.__ )

Was she a bad person? Was her family? Had she done something so bad that no one wanted her anymore? Did her family not want her? No...no that couldn’t be right because he was apologizing for letting her down. He was...

Sissy had chosen that moment to come bursting in shotgun blazing like a female John Wayne and it was as if Luther just shut down. His expression had fallen into hard lines and his blue eyes lost all emotion as he snapped his mouth closed. Sighing, he’d held up Carl’s wallet and began to explain how he’d found it. He’d tentatively handed it over, then sprinted to his car as if the hounds of Hell were chasing after him. Vanya was left standing there with more questions than she started with.

Then Five had shown up. 

If Sissy was John Wanye then Five was goddamned, Audie Murphy.

When Luther left she had tried to put it all behind her. Tried to stop thinking about it and believe she was better off for it. If her family had hurt her…. For the first time, Vanya began to wonder if maybe there was an actual good reason (besides the accident) that she didn’t remember anything. Then she'd had that gods-be-damned dream of Luther hanging in mid-air the violins playing fervently around them as his face leached of life. 

When she’d woken up the air had tasted stale. It was as if the dark was looming up all around her painting great spikes on the ceiling and walls, making her feel as if they were closing up around her.

__(NEVER AGAIN!! I WILL NEVER ALLOW US TO BE LOCKED UP EVER AGAIN!!)_ _

She’d fled the room forcing herself to inhale and exhale as she ran from…..she hadn’t even known what really only that she had to get out to the air. To sounds. It was too quiet here and she had to get herself out because no one else would. Klaus was trying but…

The sound of the car’s engine startled her out of her thoughts and she was amazed to find herself in Sissy’s station wagon speeding down the road at a breakneck pace. Startled, she slammed on the brakes, adrenaline rushing through her and the car was brought to a screeching halt in the middle of the highway. 

“Jesus,” she whispered hoarsely, wiping her eyes and leaning forward so she could rest her forehead against the steering wheel. What the fuck was going on. She forced herself to breathe deeply, counting to ten like her therapist had taught her, and when she felt more stable she slowly peeked her head up. 

Therapist? She had a Therapist? Since when did she have a Therapist? 

(Uh Uh that way lies danger. You leave those thoughts alone, little songbird. We’re not quite ready for that yet.) 

Shaking her head she started the car and put it into drive. The engine purred to life and it began to move again at a much slower pace. She’d managed to get a few miles closer to the city when she came upon the Milkman and his truck. He was standing there so innocently waving her down that she ignored the peculiarity of it and imagined that he must be having car trouble. She waited as he began to walk towards her window ready to offer him a ride back to the city where he could find a phone when she noticed something splattered on his shirt as he passed in front of the headlights. 

( _ _HE’S NOT HAVING CAR TROUBLE YOU IDIOT DRIVE!!!__ )

“What?” she asked aloud stupidly

( _ _DRIVE!!!__ ) 

Startled, she slammed her foot down on the accelerator and the car jerked into motion just in time as two strangers dressed in black appeared out of the darkness of the cornfield beside her. Shots rang through the air and she let out a shrill scream as the rear windshield exploded causing the shattered glass to rain down in the car all around her. Were they shooting at her? Oh Goddess they were! They were actually shooting. At her!!! Instinctively ducking her head she let go of the steering wheel and brought her arms up and around her head for protection. This, it turned out was not smart. It left the car in charge of where it went and it decided that careening out of control was a good idea and it ran into a ditch and died. 

( _ _GET UP!! GET UP RIGHT NOW!! I WON’T LET YOU KILL US WITH YOUR WEAKNESS!__ )

She turned the key desperate to restart it but the wagon wasn’t having it. It stalled out and Vanya realized she was going to have to get out. 

( _ _RUN GODDAMMIT RUN!!!__ )

Giving a desperate sob she threw open the door and practically fell out of the car into the dirt. She could smell the grass as she forced herself to her feet, stumbled once, then managed to make a mad dash into the darkness of the cornfield.

Dark didn’t even begin to describe it. The only light source came from a single street lamp that was obviously on its last legs but still bravely casting light down into the field. The shadows loomed up around her. Again they were forming their spikes and her breath started to speed up to impossible levels. She hunkered down hoping she could rest for a second, under the cover of the tall corn stalks trying to keep the fear at bay. Loud rustling sounded to her left and she could see the glare of a flashlight. She gave up any pretense of being quiet or trying to hide. She took off wildly. Running blindly through the field. No idea of what direction she was moving when the gunfire started up again and the fear threatened to swallow her whole. She stumbled a few more feet, falling to the ground, and desperately crawled for her life. The dust left her field of vision and was replaced with boots. This was it, she was going to die. She was never going to know who she was or who her family was. Heh, she didn’t even have a life to flash before her eyes. It was at this exact moment that she heard it. Violins. Chaconne, Partita No. 2 in D Minor, her mind supplied to her astonishment. And the music continued on to sweep through her. It filled her with a sick mixture of dread and peace. The blonde raised his gun But Vanya was beyond being afraid now. The music comforted her. It rose up and she closed her eyes bracing herself and praying that it wouldn’t hurt too much. She was going to die but…..

( _ _WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER!! LET GO!!! LET GO LITTLE SONGBIRD!! IT’S ALRIGHT. LISTEN TO THE MUSIC AND LET GO!!!__ )

Something stretched within her, clawing its way to the surface and she got the distinct impression of a maniacal grin and childish laughter. 

When she opened her eyes again it was to the bright light of early morning. 

Blinking, she looked around in disbelief. She was alive. SHE WAS ALIVE!! She was alive, but...Why? Had she dreamt it all? No, that wasn’t possible because she could still feel the cuts from the glass and she was here in the cornfield instead of the bed she’d occupied at the farm. She desperately cast about her mind trying to remember what had happened but only vague impressions of violin music and the feeling of glee seemed to swim up to the surface to greet her. 

(NEVER YOU MIND THAT. IT’S NOT IMPORTANT.)

But…

It was then she heard a rustling further back into the field and she could feel fear starting to race up her spine again. The rustling became louder and then corn parted to reveal... him.

He was well...Beautiful wasn’t the right word for it but Vanya was sure she would be hard-pressed to describe him in any other fashion. Dark hair flopped into ice blue eyes that danced in a ruggedly handsome face, and feelings of safety and home filled her as they locked onto her own plain brown ones. 

( _ _Bastard, you promised. You swore you wouldn’t ever leave us behind!!__ )

“Hi Vanya,” he told her, his voice soothing her and those blue blue eyes lighting up with obvious relief. A relaxed and easy smirk danced on the corner of his lips. And she could literally feel the fear melting away only to be replaced with a heat she was unaccustomed to and she was horrified to realize she was blushing. His smirk turned arrogant and Vanya opened her mouth only to stumble on her words. 

“I...umm...wha..”

That damnable smirk widened and she narrowed her eyes on him as she realized he knew perfectly well what effect he was having on her. 

Coughing she cleared her throat clenched her fists and tried again. 

“Who are you?”

“Well,” he answered the smirk falling from his face and he paused seeming to consider something that bothered him. “That’s….slightly complicated. And we really don’t have time for anything complicated right now. We need to leave here before anyone else gets smart, decides to look for soundwaves and shows up.”

“But I don’t..”

“Look,” he told her, his voice taking on a no-nonsense tone. “You can either stay here and wait for the IKEA mafia to come back to kill you, or you can come with me.” He stood there for a second as if coming to a decision then smirked and gallantly held out his hand. “In other words, Come with me if you want to live.”

(CHEEKY BASTARD)

He kept his cocky smirk firmly in place but when she looked into his eyes she could tell he was nervous. She would always know those eyes. She might have forgotten everything else but those eyes….she would never be able to truly forget or be unable to read those eyes. Trusting her instincts, and the desperate want for him to be at ease, she tentatively reached out and rested her palm in his. His whole being seemed to relax and that smirk….That damnable ungodly attractive smirk firmed back up on his mouth and became even more arrogant.

“Come on,” he said, pulling her further into the cornfield. “We have places to be.”

“Wait,” she called semi-hysterically.“What’s an IKEA, and why are they trying to kill me?”

“Because you’re not supposed to be here Vanya. None of us are.”

“In Dallas?” she asked puzzled the hysteria building.

“No,” he told her in a flat matter-of-fact voice, “Here in 1963.”

“1963 Wh--Holy shit,” she cursed, her eyes going wild as she took in the flattened corn and the smoking crater that waited for them.

“Yeah, pretty wild right?” He asked, flashing his dimples at her. “Good to see your powers are intact.”

“My power…..WHAT?”

Okay, so he was crazy. She could work with that. Lots of people were crazy, right? Right? Two hours later she found herself sitting at a tacky off-the-road diner while he guzzled coffee and spun her a fantastically wild tale of eccentric billionaires, elite academies, and the 7 Super Powered children he bought to fill it up with. 

He was insane.

Goddess, help her. This man with eyes like the sea after a storm, this man who made her feel safe enough to breathe for the first time since her accident, the man she was pretty sure she had romantic ties with, was absolutely barking mad. She leaned her head down against the bar and gave a slightly hysterical giggle. 

“Only you Vanya,” she whispered to herself. What was she supposed to do now? Apparently, the Ikea (and he still hadn’t informed her of what that was yet) Mafia wanted to kill her, and the only one who had any idea of why was two sheets short of a set. And that wasn’t even getting into the time-travel/apocalypse stuff he’d just dumped into her lap. She gave a hopeless laugh then shoved herself back and away from the bar. 

“Vanya?” he questioned in this vulnerable little voice that made her heart ache.

“I need to make a phone call,” she said, giving a weak smile and then making her way to the payphone in the back. She picked it up and dialed the number only to be taken aback by the franticness she heard in Sissy’s voice when she finally answered.

“Sissy?” she asked worriedly.

“Vanya?!! Where are you?” 

Vanya paused feeling pricked by the demand but then felt guilt rise up to meet it when she remembered exactly why she was calling.

“I’m so sorry. I took the station wagon I just needed..”

“I don't care about the damn car, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she answered back, “I'm fine I just..”

“Well, what the hell happened?”

Vanya felt the irritation rise up within her again at the interruption and then demand and sighed. “I found someone. Someone who knows who I am and….”

Five chose that moment to make his presence known and reached around from behind her to hang up the call.

“What the Hell?!” Vanya demanded 

“We don't have time for this.”

“That was my friend you hung up on.”

“We don’t have time for this Vanya.” He grabbed her shoulders, locking his eyes to her’s so he could emphasize his point. “Listen to me. Those people from the field..they’re not going to stop because of one little setback. They are coming after us. They are coming for us Vanya and they’re NEVER going to stop. If they find us. They will kill us. And anyone else stupid enough to be with us. Do you understand me? Do you?” He shook her a bit, his blue eyes hard with worry and desperation. She bit her lip and gave a slow nod, her own eyes lit with fear and worry. “We need to stick together, find the others, and figure out how to stop doomsday. Whoever this person is, they can't be more important than the end of the world.” A single tear rolled down her cheek and he grimaced as his face softened. He let go of her shoulders and brought his palm up to rest against the side of her cheek. “I need you to trust me, Vanya.” He swallowed hard and then used his thumb to wipe the tear away from her face. “I know it's hard but I need you to trust me because if you don't I…” he swallowed again and before she could stop herself she was horrified to realize she was leaning into him so he could support her weight. 

“Okay,” she whispered softly

“Okay?” he asked in a kind of amazed and grateful disbelief.

“Okay,” she nodded reassuringly.

It hadn’t taken them long to fall into bed together after that. He’d taken her back to his hotel. Said he needed some place quiet so he could think for the night and there was no way he could do that around the three bozos he’d been staying with. When she asked him why he was okay with her still being there if he needed quiet, he’d looked at her as if she was an idiot. 

“You help me think,” he told her, bringing his hand up and brushing her hair back behind her ear. “You always have. You keep me focused and I….” She bit her lip and closed her eyes at the sensations his touch sent racing through her body. “Jesus fucking Christ,” he whispered, running his fingers from the back of her ear and down to the back of her neck. She whimpered instinctively, moving closer to him, pressing her lower body into his and he made a sound that reminded her of a wounded animal.

“Or maybe you don't.” He whispered. “Fuck it. Look at me, Vanya.” He demanded, shaking her a bit until she opened her eyes. “Look at me. I'm going to kiss you now. And then I intend to take you to that bed and do a lot more than just kissing. If you don't want this to happen, you need to tell me now because…” He never got the chance to finish because she’d grabbed his collar and pulled him down to meet her lips. 

Suffice it to say, no planning happened that night. And even less the next day.

They had had 24 blissful hours before reality had set in and his mind had inevitably gone back to trying to solve their apocalypse problem.

“It’s still coming, Vanya.” He told her, stroking her naked back. Sleepy and sated, she’d rested her head against his chest, and let her fingers play with the faint hair she found there. 

She still half-believed he was crazy, but at this point, her feelings and emotions were too deeply entwined with him and if he needed to believe there was an apocalypse coming then she would do all that she could to help him fight it. 

Even if it was all just in his head. 

(We always have been weak and too damn sentimental where he’s concerned.)

She’d gotten up, put on her big girl panties, and then set off with him to go “find” the others. 

“It’s Luther,” she said, her eyes wide in shock when she saw the familiar man fighting in the ring below them.

“You remember him?” Five demanded, voice full of jealousy. 

“No.” she soothed, grabbing his hand, lacing their fingers together sweetly. “He found me at the farm. Apologized and then pretty much disappeared just as fast as he’d shown up.”

“He found you and then left you there?” A dangerous air had surrounded him, then his blue eyes turned to twin chips of ice as he stared down at an oblivious Luther. Vanya was sure if she hadn't been there, he’d have ignored the crowds, jumped the gate, and killed him. She bit her lip and squirmed as heat pooled between her thighs, wondering how fucked up she must be that the thought of him killing someone was making her all hot and bothered.

“To be fair, Sissy was threatening him with a shotgun at the time.” 

He cocked an amused eyebrow at that and the dangerous air that had surrounded him faded a bit. He brought their joined hands up to his lips and kissed the back of hers reassuringly. 

“Come on. We need to go pick up what's left of Tall, Blonde and Hairy down there before he causes any more of a commotion.”

Talking to Luther had been...enlightening, to say the least.

“So it's all true then? He’s not crazy?”

“No.” Luther answered. “He’s an asshole but he’s not crazy.”

“There’s something he’s not telling me, isn’t there?” she asked, fear coursing through her veins. Closing her eyes and cursing herself for seven kinds of fool, she cleared her throat and finally asked what she’d been suspecting since the dinner. “Wh...What caused the apocalypse?”

Luther sighed and looked down at the floor in clear misery. 

“You did.”

She’d left the room dazed and hurt, confusion clouding her mind and judgment. 

“Vanya?” Five called as she stormed past him without a word, making her way down the stairs of Luther’s apartment and out the front door. 

“I’m going back to the farm,” she told him, barely managing to keep the tears at bay.

“What, you can’t…. We’re supposed to stick together, remember, I thought...I was only gone a minute, what could have happened in a minute?”

He dropped the ice bucket and towels he’d been carrying in favor of grabbing her shoulders and turning her to face him. 

“Luther woke up,” she told him flatly as he finally managed to catch her eyes.

“And?” he demanded, “I thought you wanted to stay and help him.”

“You lied to me.” 

“What?”

“I caused the apocalypse! You LIED to me, Five, how could you do that? How could you lie to me? Especially after we….”

“I’ve never lied to you, Vanya. EVER. You’re probably the only person I could never lie to. It was exactly as I said. A meteor ended the world. I just failed to mention that you were the one that called it down on us.”

( _ _Bastard always was too liberal with the truth when it comes to us. He sees things the way he wants to and then changes them to fit his viewpoint.__ )

“A lie of omission is still a lie, Five. You can’t….How am I supposed to trust and stay with you if you don’t tell me the truth? I don’t… Were you ever going to tell me? Or were you just going to let me go on thinking it was some threat that was going to….”

“What did you want me to do, Vanya? Just blurt it out? Be like: Oh, by the way, you know that apocalypse? The one I told you about back in 2019? Well, you caused it. You got mad and blew a chunk off the moon. If you’d be so kind as to not repeat those actions, I’d really appreciate it.”

“Yes!” she screamed, anger coursing through her. “Yes, I expected you to tell me. What was so hard about that? Luther managed to do it in 2 seconds and you couldn’t even do it in two days?” 

His face closed off at that but his eyes, oh his eyes, were glowing an angry blue-black fire and if she hadn’t been so angry herself, she might have stepped back in worry. 

“LUTHER,” he said sarcastically. “Isn’t in lo-” he stopped himself just in time, closed his eyes, and breathed in deeply. He shook his head once and opened them, then turned on his heel, and began to walk away from her.

(NO! NO, NOT AGAIN YOU ASSHOLE! NOT AGAIN!! YOU DON’T GET TO LEAVE US AGAIN!!)

“Luther’s not what, Five?!” she screamed at his retreating, back anger coursing through her like a freight train. “LUTHER'S NOT WHAT??” 

Her vision went white and the station wagon that had been sitting innocently behind her promptly blew up. 

“Vanya! Vanya, answer me!” A frantic voice was demanding above her, as familiar hands caressed every part of her, patting her down in desperation, searching every inch of her for any sign of hurt or injury. It took her a minute to remember that they were in Luther’s parking lot and not safely back in the Hotel, where any minute now, he would roll her over and...

“Vanya!!”

“Five?” she questioned softly, trying to open her eyes. 

“You’re alright.” he breathed, pulling her further up into his lap and burying his face in her shoulder. “I thought….But you’re alright.”

“None of us are going to be alright if we don’t get out of here soon. What the Hell were you thinking? You blew up a car in front of my apartment?” Luther said irritated.

“Shut up.” Five said, glaring up at him from the pavement. “This is as much your fault as it is ours.”

“I would argue with that but there’s no time. The police are going to be swarming this place any minute now. I’m pretty sure we don’t want to be here to greet them.” 

Five breathed out then stood up, never letting her go as he swung her up into his arms and began to walk down the street. 

“So…?” Luther questioned, following along behind them and trying to kill some of the tension. “Have you told her we’re siblings yet?"

"WE'RE WHAT?"

“Shut up Luther.”

***

She woke up in a strange room with a strange woman standing over her. 

“You know I really don’t see what all the fuss is about, “she told her, matter-of-factly in a pleasant British lilt. “You look pretty normal to me. I don’t understand what she’s so afraid of.”

“Huh?” Vanya asked intelligently. 

“Oh sweetie,” she said with a condescending laugh. “They’re going to eat you alive. It’s going to be so much fun to watch.” The door chose that moment to open and an angry Five burst into the room. 

“What are you doing in here?” he asked in a voice Vanya had never heard from him before. It oozed contempt and mistrust and she prayed she never had reason to find herself on the other end of it. 

“I…”

“You know what?” he told her, his voice reaching new levels of disgust. “I’ve just remembered I don’t care. Get out.”

“But I..”

“What part of ‘get out’ does your tiny, little pea-sized brain not understand?”

“Hey!” an angry voice interrupted from the doorway. “Don’t talk to her like that! She was probably just doing us a solid and waiting in here so Miss anger management over there didn’t wake up alone and blow us all sky high.”

Vanya flinched, unable to stop a wounded sound from escaping her lips, then turned over so she was facing the wall. Five, who was already mad, saw red and went apocalyptic in rage. 

“Get out,” he told them all in a deadly voice. 

“You don…”

“Get out, Diego. Now. before I forget who you are and end you myself.”

“Come on,” Luther said, putting his hand on Diego’s shoulder. “Let’s give them some space.” Diego glared at everyone in then reached out and grabbed the British woman's hand and pulled her from the room. 

“He didn’t mean it,” Luther said, looking at Vanya's back, his face falling into sad lines. “He’s just having a hard time. We all are.” Five turned his blistering glare on him and Luther blanched before following Diego and closing the door.

Sighing heavily, Five moved to the bed and raised a questioning eyebrow. She bit her lip but nodded her consent then moved over to make room for him. 

“I never meant to lie to you,” he told her, softly toeing off his shoes then removing his jacket and tie. He tossed them carelessly in a random direction then sat down on the bed beside her. “You have to understand, my first impulse is to protect you. It always has been. When I found you in that cornfield, you were scared but you were...not happy but lighter somehow. Free is a better word for it. You were free of all the bullshit and baggage Dad dumped on us as kids and I couldn't bear to be the one to put it back on you.” she grabbed his shoulder and tugged him down so he was laying on his back and she could curl up into him. “So I didn’t,” He told her, shifting so her head was resting against his shoulder and he could comfortably stroke her hair. “I told you the bare facts as I knew them and let you draw your own conclusions. I can't tell you I'm sorry for it because I'm not. I’m really not, Vanya, and I never will be. You need to understand that. I am not a nice man. I've done things. Things you can't even begin to imagine. Things that if you knew…”

“Like cause the end to all life on the earth in a fiery apocalypse?” she asked in a tiny, raw voice.

“That’s different, and you know it.” He tugged on her hair a bit, forcing her to look up and into his eyes. “That’s another thing you’re going to have to understand. What happened back in 2019...it wasn't just your fault.”

“But Luther said…”

“I don’t give a flying fart in space for anything Luther’s said,” he told her in an angry voice. “It was a culmination of events and things that people had done. Things that had been done to you and to us. It all just came to light at the wrong time and….” he brought the back of his hand up to cover his eyes and sighed. “We all did the best we could at the time. Even you. It just…it wasn’t enough. We have to be better. We have to be better this time, Vanya.” He brought his arm down and cradled the side of her face with his palm. “We have to be because I can’t do that again. Especially now. I can’t...I just...I won’t. I won’t do it again. If I ever have to make a decision like that again... The world will burn because I’ll let it.”

( _ _Pitiful little weak lovesick fool. Too late….much too late. If only you had stayed. If only you hadn’t left us behind.__ )

“A decision like what?” she asked, her eyes large and innocent. 

He stared at her for a minute then seemed to debate with himself about something and shook his head. 

"It doesn't matter right now."

"Fiv-"

"Please, Vanya. Let it go. It doesn't matter right now." His face pinched with worry and she raised her hand from his chest, desperately wanting to soothe the lines from it. 

"This wasn't supposed to go like this. I was trying to explain…" 

"It's alright," she interrupted him, unable to stand seeing him at such odds with himself. "Just...just promise me you'll tell me eventually?"

He took a minute to think then sighed. “I promise."

"No loopholes?"

His eyes shot to her in astonished disbelief.

"No loopholes, Five," she demanded, this time in a stern voice and he barked out a laugh.

"No loopholes," he promised, then pulled her up so he could kiss her.

“HEY,!! YOU GUYS DO REALIZE THAT WALL IS JUST FROSTED GLASS RIGHT?” Luther hollered on the opposite side of them. “WE CAN SEE EVERYTHING YOU’RE DOING!!”

“Wait, it’s glass?” Diego demanded in a worried voice.

“Well yeah, of course it is,” Elliott said in a defensive voice. “It’s the latest thing in home decorations.” 

“Shut up Elliott.”

Five took that moment to flip them the bird. And Lila snickered. 

****

“I don’t understand. Why can’t I go?” Vanya demanded. 

“Oh, that’s all we need,” Diego said, fixing his tie, his voice reaching new levels of sarcasm. “Little Miss ‘let’s go blow up cars for funsies’ trying to help.”

Five rounded on him in an instant, leaving his tie to dangle around his neck, murder burning in his eyes.

“Do you have a death wish?” he asked in this calm voice that sent shivers up Vanya's spine.

“No,” Diego answered stubbornly. “But apparently you do. I seem to be the only one who remembers being suspended midair while the life was sucked out of me with energy tentacles.”

“Look!” Vanya said, biting her lip, sorrow clouding her amber eyes. “I don’t...I don't remember what I did. But I'm sorry...if that means anything.”

Diego seemed to study her for a second, looking for any sign of deceit, then softened. “It does,” he answered. “I just need a little time to process.”

Both Five and Luther stared at him in various degrees of astonishment and Vanya sent him a tremulous smile. 

“Awww you’re just a big ol’ softy aren’t you, Diego?” Lila chose that moment to sweep into the room and smack Diego on the ass, causing him to jump several feet into the air.

“Shit Lila, you can't just do stuff like that. What if I hadn’t realized it was you and sent a knife at your stomach?”

“Oooo Kinky.” She snickered, sauntering up to him and fixing his tie. “So when do we leave?” she asked, making sure the knot was perfect and smoothing his shoulders down when she was done. 

“Wait, She’s going?” Vanya demanded, rounding on Five like a snake. “Why does she get to go and I don't?”

“Face it, princess, it’s because I'm special and you're not. You’re just ordinary.” 

“She’s not going.” Five answered but it was too late.

(BITCH)

A great pain rose up within Vanya and settled into her chest, swamping her with depression, anguish, and misery. A fog seemed to cloud her mind and she blanched. 

“ _ _I heard a rumor, I heard a rumor, I heard a rumor….Ordinary you’re just ordinary ordinary ordinary ordinary….”__

(YOU STUPID FUCKING SELFISH CUNT I’LL KILL YOU!!! I’LL DRAIN YOU ALIVE I’LL HANG YOU FROM THE CEILING AND MAKE YOU BEG FOR DEATH!!! I WILL MAKE IT LAST FOR DAYS AND DAYS AND DAYS I’LL FLAY YOU ALIVE!!) 

__“Ordinary, Ordinary, Ordinary, I heard a rumor, Ordinary. I heard….Rumor …..Ordinary.”_ _

The words echoed and abounded through her head, making the ache within her grow with each repetition. The voice that seemed to be speaking set her on edge. It filled her with tremendous amounts of love and trepidation and she knew if she just listened hard enough, she could grasp it and she would be able to remember and then…..

(No, little songbird no. Look away. You must look away. You’re not ready for that yet and if you let go…)

Sound exploded into her ears again and she felt a stinging in her cheek as she recognized the sound of Five raging in the background.

****“ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE??”** **

“ ** **I WARNED you, Diego! I TOLD you what would happen if you didn’t keep her on a leash. Well, you didn't and now Vanya is paying the price!”****

“Vanya!! Vanya!!” She forced her eyes to focus and was surprised to find a worried Luther standing in front of her with a slightly guilty expression on his face. 

“Luther? she asked softly in bewilderment.

****“It’s not Lila’s fault Vanya’s a basket case! How was she supposed to know a little light teasing would set her off!!” Diego yelled.** **

“I'm sorry.” Luther apologized profusely, backing away from her and lifting his hands helplessly. “I didn't know what else to do to bring you out of...whatever that was and Five’s about to Kill Diego and... I…”

 ** **“LIGHT TEASING?? LIGHT TEASING??**** ****Are you FUCKNG kidding me? Come on, Diego, think. I know you’re used to sharing a single brain cell with the other four but at least try to PRETEND you have one. SPECIAL AND ORDINARY. Who does that sound like to you? Come the fuck on! That’s Dad, on a good day. They’re trigger words. She used trigger words. ON VANYA! It's Commission tactics One-Oh-One. She used words specifically tailored to Vanya, with the intention of setting her off.”****

“I heard a rumor.” Vanya recited listlessly back at him, swaying on her feet a bit. “I….heard... Someone say that.” Vanya said, narrowing her eyes and staring at Luther inquisitively. “Someone important.”

Thunder cracked ominously ominously, charging the air, and heavy sheets of rain began to pound against the roof and windows of the loft, causing Luther to shudder.

“FIVE?” he called out nervously, trying to catch his attention. 

****“You’re wrong.”**** Diego argued in a flat voice. “ ** **There’s no way she could have known. I met her in the psych ward. You KNOW that. There’s no way she could know what Dad used to taunt us with****.”

“Uhhh Five?” Luther called again, a little more desperately, as hail joined the rain in its relentless pounding. 

“There's no way she could have known it, unless she was a plant.” Five told him, his eyes softening a little. “Look Diego, I know you’re hurting and you miss your cop friend but it's staring you right in the face, man. She’s a plant and-“

“I’m right here, you know.” Lila protested. “I was only teasing her, how was I supposed to know she’d freak out and go catatonic.” 

****“How DARE you bring EUDORA into this, she…she was my friend and..she paid the price for it, she..”** **

”Eudora?” Lila asked in a bewildered and slightly jealous voice. “Who’s Eudora?”

Vanya swayed again and Luther watched in horror as her hair began to take on a silver sheen. “Someone...someone, said that to me,” she mumbled as she tried to grasp the voice and force the memory to the forefront of her mind. 

(ENOUGH!!! You will look away Little Songbird! YOU WILL Look away NOW and forget!! FORGET for all of our sakes.)

“ _ _FIVE!__ ” Luther exclaimed, the panic in his voice reaching new levels as a single softball-sized piece of hail sailed through the skylight and landed in the middle of the arguing pair. 

Just as suddenly as it had started, it stopped. 

Vanya looked around the room in a semi-dazed fashion, taking in the carnage, then met Five’s eyes in bewilderment. “What….What just happened?” she asked worriedly when she saw the ice and glass scattered on the floor.

“Oh please!” Lila scoffed, still riled at the Eudora comment and the fact that no one had answered her. “As if you don’t know. Diego’s told me about your powers. There’s no way you don’t remember doing this.”

“Shut your mouth before I close it for you. Permanently. This is your fault.” Five glared at her menacingly then moved to Vanya and softened his eyes. 

“Hi,” he told her softly, when Luther moved out of his way, pushing her hair behind her ear.

“I...I did this?” Vanya asked, her voice cracking as she looked at Five with wide eyes. 

Lila snorted and opened her mouth, only for Diego to silence her with a glare. 

“Well, I did say it was good to know your powers were intact, remember? Nice to know that goes for the weather ones too.”

“Weather ones? I have weather ones too? Jesus fucking Christ, what am I?” she demanded as she picked her way around the glass to the nearest couch and collapsed bonelessly into it. Giving a dry laugh, she buried her head into her hands. 

“This is it, isn't it. The reason you won’t let me go with you. You’re afraid I’ll go all psycho or something and use my powers.”

Five dropped into the seat helplessly beside her and pulled her into his lap. 

“Look Vanya...” Diego began with a sigh, causing Five to look up at him with a dangerous glare. “This isn’t….We’re not going to this party to have a good time. We’re going to find Dad. He’s...not a nice man and he’s always had this ability to use words to destroy people. From the way you reacted to a few taunting words, you obviously aren't ready for that. To be honest, I doubt I'm ready for it. My powers….are just a lot less volatile than yours.” 

Five looked at him in absolute astonishment and pulled Vanya closer to him in a protective manner then sent him a nod of thanks. 

“He’s that bad?” She asked, peeking at them from between her fingers.

“He sent me to the Moon,” Luther said, his voice sounding dead. “After the accident that caused all this…” he gestured at himself wryly. “I wasn’t in the best place mentally. I couldn't stand the thought of going anywhere or anyone seeing me like this, so I spent most of my time hiding away at the mansion. I had a vague hope that there was some way to fix it but...This went on for a good 2 months and in all that time, he didn't have one word to say to me. I kept waiting for the mission alarm to go off. For anything really. Hoping that maybe he’d do something. But he just….didn't. I would have taken anything at that point...Anyway,” he continued, shaking his head. “Like I said this went on for about two months and then one day, I came down for breakfast and he was just there. He was just sitting there at the table, waiting for me like he’d never left.” 

Diego grimaced in sympathy and Five pulled Vanya a little bit tighter against him. 

“After 2 months of ignoring me, he came to me and told me that he had a mission that only I could do. That it was important, ‘Vital’ was the word he used, now that I think of it. He told me that he needed samples and data and that only I could get it for him. Later on, I found out he hadn't even glanced at any of those VITAL notes or samples I sent back. He just...threw them into a room and forgot about them. Four years of my life...just gone. He sent me to the moon after...doing this to me because he couldn't stand to look at me anymore. So yes, Vanya, to answer your question, Diego’s right. He is that bad.”

Both Five and Diego were staring at him in surprised disbelief and he shifted uncomfortably. 

“What?” he asked defensively. ”I’ve been here a lot longer than either of you. I’ve had time to think and..people do grow, you know? Even me.”

“If he’s so bad, why do we need him? Why not just leave him to torture and torment someone else?” Vanya asked listlessly, taking pity, and removing the spotlight from Luther and his revelations.

“Because he’s in the footage,” Luther said like it was common knowledge.

“Footage?” Vanya asked bewilderedly.

“You mean he hasn't told you about the footage yet?” Diego asked, gesturing at Five with his shoulder. 

“No.” Vanya answered, craning her neck around so she could look at Five. “What footage?”

“The President is going to die in a few days and we have footage of it proving Dad did it.”

“He didn’t….urg!” 

Five groaned and let his head drop to Vanya's shoulder. “Diego, could you please do me a favor and just pretend for five seconds that you have a brain?” 

Luther snorted and Diego rounded on him. 

“You’ve got something to say, Monkey boy?”

“Both of you stop it, we don't have time for this.” He nudged Vanya with his knees until she got the message and moved off of him. He then went to the mirror and started trying to fix his tie again. 

“We,” he announced pointedly looking at Diego and then Luther, “Only have a short window of time that we know Dad’s going to be at this party. That means we have to leave now.”

“Oh don’t look at me” Luther protested, holding his hands up and backing away defensively. “I'm not going.” 

Five opened his mouth to protest but Luther beat him to it. “I'm not going Five and you’re just going to have to accept it. I don’t feel comfortable going to a party right now.”

Five sighed and shook his head. “Whatever.” Giving one last look to Vanya he turned away from the mirror and began to make his way towards the door. “Come on Diego, the faster we go the faster we can get back.”

Two hours, and many games of ‘Go Fish’ with Luther and Elliot later, and Vanya was ready to climb the walls. 

“You got any sevens?” Luther asked in a deceptively innocent voice, laughing maniacally when Elliot cursed and handed him the three sevens he’d been hiding in his deck since the start of this new game. 

“Does it usually take this long when you go on missions?” Vanya asked, biting her lip in worry.

“Huh?” Luther asked cluelessly, turning his blue eyes on her. They looked so much like Five’s, she mused to herself, only infinitely younger. “Oh yeah, these two hours are nothing.” He explained. “I remember one mission where this guy decided to screw with the Eiffel tower. Dad dragged us all out to France to stop him and it was at least a week before we even thought about getting to go home. But don’t worry,” he said quickly to reassure her when he noticed the worry in her eyes. “This is nothing like that. This is just a party. They’ll have to shmooze for a bit until they can find Dad and then-” The door burst open, interrupting him and they viewed Five hauling a slightly wounded Diego with him. 

“What the hell happened?” Vanya demanded, standing up and rushing over to them to see if she could help. 

“The good news is we found Dad. The bad news is the Ikea brothers showed up and stopped us before we could corner him.” Diego said between pain-filled gasps. 

“Don't forget the part where your new best friend went all ninja and left you to die.” Five sneered as he steered Diego across the room to a couch and dropped him on it. 

“You’re bleeding!” Vanya said horrified as Diego stood up, moved to the mirror, and took off his shirt. 

“Well,” that tends to happen when you’ve been stabbed, Vanya.” He said angrily as tried to assess the damage.

“Don’t talk to her like that,” Five hissed, rounding on him like a snake. “God only knows why but she’s worried about you.”

“Y-you know, I don't understand,” Diego said, stuttering a bit due to his agitation. “They keep following me.”

“Wait, who?” Luther asked, dropping his cards and moving to the bathroom for the gauze. 

“Those Dutch sociopaths,” Diego answered, hissing as he touched his wound.

“They’re Swedish, you idiot.” Five scoffed back. “Hired guns paid to eradicate us before we do any more damage to this timeline.”

“Yeah but why now? I mean I was fine for three months and then you showed up.” Diego said, turning his accusing eyes on Five. 

“I was here for a year and no one messed with me,” Luther commented in a thoughtful voice. 

“Even if it was my fault, which it's not,” Five scoffed, gritting his teeth. “We only have four days before the end of the world and the closest anyone’s gotten to Dad was the driveway in the consulate.”

“That’s not exactly true.” Luther sighed as he handed Diego the alcohol and bandages, then threw himself back onto the couch. 

“What do you mean?” Diego and Five both asked at the same time.

“I saw him,” Luther answered as he closed his eyes in misery. “When I first got here. I was stupid enough to go home. It was the first thing I did after I managed to scrounge up enough money to get on a bus. The bastard was hosting a party.” he snorted. “He was standing in the main hall with all these people, cracking jokes and talking about the end of the world and time travel, of all things. He dismissed me at a glance. I told him who I was and begged for his help and he accused me of being the worst spy in history. Then declared he hated children and informed me there was no way he was ever having them but that if he ever did, he would expect more out of them than my grotesque simian proportions.”

Vanya made a sympathetic and horrified noise from deep within her throat and Diego flopped back onto the couch, where he put his head in his hands and gave a sorrow-filled laugh. 

“Christ,” he muttered, “Dad of the year. Heartless bastard.”

“No wonder you didn't want to go with them to the party.” Vanya sympathized. She went to his side of the couch, reaching out her arms, intending to hug him but then froze. “I'm sorry.” she whimpered in a small voice as oceans of guilt and grief swamped her all at once like a tidal wave. “I'm sorry I didn't mean it. I didn’t mean…” her breathing sped up and her ears started to ring as her vision tunneled. 

(You people are fucking morons. We should slaughter you all and be done with it.)

Suddenly, she found herself across the room, sheltered in Five's arms, her face buried in his shoulder as he caressed her hair, his smell surrounding and comforting her. 

“... care….known better….”

“e….Alright?” 

“Triggered….Trama response. ...seen it... other p….Really should … expected…..better ….oon” 

“Five.” she whimpered and just like that, his focus was all on her. 

“Hi,” he whispered, his blue eyes softer than she’d ever seen them. His thumb caressed her cheekbone and she sighed contentedly as she snuggled back into him. “You back with us?” he asked. She seemed to think about it for a second then nodded. 

“Yeah, I don’t..know what happened I...I was going to hug him but I...was afraid. And guilty...and….did I hurt... you?”

She looked up and over at Luther worriedly, only to find him staring at the floor, his face as white as a sheet.

“Vanya,” Luther sighed, closing his eyes.

“Oh God, I did. I hurt you, didn’t I? I hurt you and I don’t remember it and that’s why you don’t want to tell me….I'm sorry. I’m so sorry, Luther, I don’t….”

“For fucks sake.” Diego scoffed. “Stop groveling and let him talk. You didn't hurt him, he hurt you.”

“What?” Vanya asked, feeling very cold and instinctively moving further back into Five. “Why would… you…”

“I told you before a lot of stuff happened back in 2019.” Five answered her by tightening his hold on her. 

“And I didn't react well. To any of it.” Luther said putting his head back down into his shaking hands. “Vanya you have to know if there was any way I could do it again...I'd change so many things about that night. I…” A loud booming knock sounded on the door interrupting them and Five cursed as Diego let out a tired hiss. 

“Expecting anyone Elliot?” Five asked as the knock boomed through the room again. He reluctantly let go of Vanya as Luther and Diego pushed themselves up from the couch and went to the door. 

“N-no,” Elliot stuttered, “I have some packages that should be getting here soon but they’d be in the mail..I mean I suppose it could be that but…”

“So no then.” Five sighed then reached out and opened the door only to freeze in place as both Luther and Diego gasped. 

“What?” Vanya asked worriedly, trying to peer around them so she could see who it was. “Who is it?” She was able to catch the glimmer of a brilliant red ruby set in rich blue silk before Five positioned himself so he was blocking the others from view. His fingers twitched and his knuckles turned white as he gripped the side of the door keeping it halfway closed around his body.

“Why are you here?” Five demanded and Vanya strained her ears trying to hear a reply only to be disappointed when he moved back into the room closing and locking the door behind him. 

Both Luther and Diego were staring at him with wide disbelieving eyes 

“-Was that…?” Luther started with a swallow…and stopped obviously trying to compose himself

“Yeah,” Five interrupted gripping several papers in his hands.

“Well, we wanted to see Dad,” Diego said with a sardonic laugh. “I guess we got his attention.” 

“We’ve more than caught his attention if he’s sending Abhijat,” Luther groaned. “What did he say?”

“Abhijat?” Vanya asked her mind whirling. “Wait who’s Abhijat?”

“He’s Dad's clean up guy. You name it, he does it. Anything that Dad deems beneath him he sends Abhijat to take care of.” Diego explained. “IE us.”

“He didn’t say anything,” Five snorted, shaking off his shock. “He just handed me these and left.” He held up 6 white envelopes each embossed with a single name on the front. 

He tossed them to the others then opened the one with his name on it and began to read.

To my pursuers:

I, Reginald Hargreeves, request the pleasure of your company for a light supper on the 20th of November 1963 half-past seven o’clock 1624 Magnolia Street. Be advised you will not be asked again and if you are not all in attendance these invitations will be considered null and void and you will promptly be escorted from the property.

“Mine says the same.” Luther sighed, holding the card, and opened envelope.

“It’s a god damned reprint.” Diego half laughed as he tossed his to the coffee table then gingerly lowered himself back to the couch.

“Nothing is ever easy.” Five hissed as he rubbed his temples and gave his own half-laugh of derision. He dropped the extra two cards on the table beside Diegos then picked up his jacket and started putting it on. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Diego asked

“To find Allison and Klaus.” Five answered. “It seems it’s time to get the Umbrella academy back together again.”

“Uh yeah about that,” Luther interrupted clearing his throat. “I’m not sure about Klaus but I know where Allison is.”

“What?” Diego asked

“And exactly how long have you known that?” Five demanded angrily. 

“Since the night of my last fight,” Luther admitted. “She’s...she’s married.” 

“Well, that explains the beating you took.” Diego winced and Five sighed.

“Do any of you listen to me or am I just blowing smoke over here? I specifically remember warning all of you that time-travel was a shit show and not to fuck with it before we left.” 

Luther opened his mouth to argue and Five shot a glare at him that caused him to snap it closed. 

“Don’t do anything to draw attention to yourselves because they’re going to be looking for us. Try to lay low and keep to yourselves and don't do anything that would affect the time lines. I specifically remember telling you all this and what do you idiots do? Diego gets arrested outside of Lee Harvey Oswald’s Hotel room screaming about saving the President and you go to work for Jack fucking Ruby. Now you’re saying Allison’s married? Please, please tell me it’s not to someone important on a global scale.”

“Some guy named Chestnut,” Luther brooded.

Five closed his eyes, shook his head, and muttered. ”Alright,” he finally remarked, “We need to go get her.”

“Yeah well, you have fun with that,” Luther stated flatly.

“Luther..” Five started 

“No, look... I’ll tell you where she is but I'm not going to get her. You want to blow up her domestic bliss, that’s fine. But it's on you.”

Five closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. “Just give me the address.” He tore a piece of the envelope that had held his invitation, grabbed a pen, and tossed them both at Luther who promptly wrote the address down and handed it back. 

Five folded it up and placed it in his breast pocket then walked over to Vanya and smoothed her hair behind her ears. “I’ll be back soon,” he promised, his ocean eyes searching hers. He muttered something too low for her to hear then shrugged, leaned forward, and stole her breath away with his lips. Smirking devilishly at her, he pulled back and flashed his dimples. “Feel free to use your powers on these idiots if you need to.” 

“Okay,” she mumbled back dazedly, stumbling a bit as her eyes glazed over with want. 

He snickered then practically waltzed out the door.

By the time he’d gotten back, Vanya had grown bored and had gone to Elliot hoping he had something for her to read. Neither Diego or Luther were willing to talk to her about the past, both of them becoming visibly uncomfortable and slightly guilty when she asked if they had any good memories they’d shared together. They glanced at each other worriedly and she’d felt her fingers desperately itching for something that she'd held a thousand times before but knew was gone now. Realizing there was nothing she could do about it she decided to go with the next best thing and fill them with a book.

“ _ _Books are magical things, Vanya. They can take us on a thousand journeys, a million different places where anything is possible. All at our fingertips. And the best part of all...there’s no Dad to ruin them__ ” Someone had told her that once. Someone she knew was very important and very dear to her. His voice echoed inside of her mind for a moment she could almost see his outline. She reached for it desperately trying to remember but was left beyond frustrated when that outline dissolved and faded back into her mind. Biting back the tears she went back to her original mission and went looking for Elliot.

Imagine her surprise when the conspiracy theorist turned out to be an avid reader of all things fantasy. She found herself happily settled on the couch with an aged but well-loved copy of The Hobbit. She couldn't explain it but the book had seemed to call to her from it's shelf. Reading it had felt right. Like she had come home. She was just getting to the part where Gandolf browbeats poor Bilbo into going on the quest when the door burst open and an eccentric voice shattered her peace.

“Oh Wow,” it cried, “Look at all this old junk.” 

“I see he found Klaus,” Diego said in a flat voice as Vanya jumped from the couch and moved to the banister that looked over the main room beside the other two. Feminine laughter filled the room and Vanya cringed as she bit her lip anxiously, her knuckles turning white as she gripped the rail. 

A man and a woman stood down in the main room with Five. While the man seemed completely eccentric and normal to her, the woman was all wrong. She was supposed to be in Gucci with her hair wrapped up in an elaborate hairstyle. Instead, she stood here in a rather plain plaid dress and a humble straight hairstyle.

“Oh wow,” the man pronounced again. “I know this is impossible but did we all get sexier?”

“Vanya?” The woman asked with tears filling her eyes. 

“Hi,” She answered warily. By this point, both Luther and Diego were heading down the stairs so Vanya forced herself to let go of the death grip she had on the rail and make her way down behind them.

The woman stepped forward to hug her but Vanya couldn’t stop a low distressed sound from escaping her throat and Five was between them in seconds.

“I told you things were different now Allison and that you needed to wait to see how things went.”

“I’m...I'm sorry,” Vanya stuttered when she peaked over Five’s shoulder and saw the genuine hurt on the other woman's face. Her hands ached as she clenched the back of his shirt in a death grip. “I ….I had an accident and I can’t really remember anything that happened before it.”

“But you’re okay now right?” she asked worriedly. “Five, you said she was okay.” 

“Okay is a relative term Allison. She’s as okay as she can be. As any of us are really.” She glared at him and Five seemed to shrug it off as if it didn’t phase him any and knowing him as she did, Vanya was pretty sure it didn’t.

“The woman turned her brown eyes back to Vanya and her face softened,”I missed you.” 

Vanya wished she could say the same, she really really did, but all that she felt while looking at this woman was oceans of guilt and fear. And that wasn’t even bringing into account the fact that if she could somehow manage to navigate it, there were these feelings of insecurity and jealousy trying to bubble up too.

“Im sorry. I really don’t remember” Vanya told her miserably. “I…”

“Jesus, you are drunk,” Diego announced interrupting them. 

Vanya immediately turned her attention to the two males.

“Oh no...just a little.. just a few,” the new man stumbled on his words and Vanya clung tighter to Five’s jacket when he turned his attention to her.

“Vanny hiiiiii,” He stumbled over to them arms out ready to hug them both and Vanya knew something was going to happen when she felt Five tense up.

The smell of ozone permeated the air all around her, blue light filling her eyes and nose with... him. It was as if she had been senseless before and then someone had taken her out and dropped into a lake but instead of water it was filled with everything he was. Everything that made Five... Five.

(We’ve missed this so much)

She gasped and leaned her forehead onto his shoulders as she came back to herself. She realized she was on the other side of the room. Her fingers twitched as she closed her eyes and kept herself from falling over by clutching his shoulders desperately. 

“Jesus,” she whispered, as she felt him reach up and pat her hand in reassurance, “Jesus.”

“Vanya,” He said after a minute, “I need you to loosen up a little. “I kinda have to breathe.” Embarrassed, she tried to let go only to feel him grasp her hands and pull them down and around his chest. “That’s my girl.” He said turning around so he could face her. “Just give it a minute and it’ll get better. I’m sorry I had forgotten how much this affected you the first time we did it.”

“You were running.” She said scrunching up her face in concentration. “You turned the corner and I..was just finishing lessons. You just kinda grabbed me. Then you laughed and…suddenly we were on the other side of the house.” She looked up to find him with a giant goofy reminiscing smile resting on his face. 

“Yeah,” he told her, “That was the first time I 'd ever done a side along. First but not the last.” It was as if someone had turned on a faucet and her mind filled with the countless trips through space and time he’d taken with her. Whether it had been simple pranks he’d let her in on. Laziness, or avoiding punishments and running from Po…

(NO!)

It was as if a door slammed and the flow of memories cut off leaving her cold with just the few memories she’d managed to clutch desperately. “Five.” she whimpered helplessly, looking up at him with wet amber eyes. “It was there but it's gone now. I don’t…”

“It's alright,” he soothed, “You remembered something so that means it's all still there. It’ll come back when you’re ready. “We just have to be patient.”

“When did that happen?” she heard the woman (her sister she reminded herself) ask in the background. 

“Since he brought her back,” Luther answered

“Oh please,” the man who Diego had just accused of being drunk and was apparently another one of her brothers snorted. “That’s been going on since we were kids. You were all just too emotionally constipated and focused on yourselves to notice it.”

“What I want to know is what we’re going to do when she does remember and if she’s going to be the Vanya we know now or the crazy bitch from 2019.” Diego asked. 

“Diego,” the woman hissed and Vanya flinched, causing Five to turn and glare at the rest.

(And yet again he acts as the buffer between us. Our Protector. Our Hero. How Pathetic.) 

“I'm okay Five.” she whispered, embarrassed, and hoping the rest of them didn’t hear, “We have more important things to worry about than my memory problems.” His face softened as he looked back at her then nodded. He took her hand and led her back up the stairs and to the couch. Then looked back over the Banister 

“Well?” He asked in an irritated voice. “Are you coming or not?” 

****

The next day had been Hell. Allison kept trying to corner her so they could have a “heart to heart” and reconnect and Five, manic with worry, had laser-focused in on what he thought needed to be done to save the planet. Her anxiety levels skyrocketed and for probably the millionth time that day she found herself longing for that little hotel room that seemed to be a hundred miles away from her now. At one point she’d actually locked herself in the bathroom so she could cry and maybe try to escape them all. She was desperate to find even just a moment's peace but then Diego had come along, banging on the door, reminding her that there were other people in the little duplex who needed to use the facilities and she’d quickly realized that hiding out there wasn't an option. 

She’d come out only to find Allison waiting for her in the living area. She realized she’d hit her breaking point when the sight of her had sent her into a mild panic attack where she was gasping for air and trying to hold on so she didn’t accidentally blow anything up. It wasn't that she didn't want to get to know the woman who claimed to be her sister, she did. She longed for a special connection with someone she could trust. Someone she could talk to about anything but everytime she looked at the woman she either burned with jealousy or was swamped with guilt and anger. 

To her surprise it had turned out to be her newest brother that seemed to understand what was going on and run interception for her. Well as much as he could in the tiny place Five had them all cooped up in. He’d taken one look at her coming out of that bathroom and then immediately turned and drew Allison away trying to distract her with questions about skirts of all things. Allison tried to protest but he hissed something into her ear and she sent a sharp look at Vanya and then her entire face fell. Vanya winced and practically sprinted to what served as the apartment’s sad excuse for a kitchen. She made sure no one else was there then turned on the faucet and leaned her face against it’s cool metal.

“One.” 

“Two.”

“Three.”

“Four.” 

“ _ ** _ **Counting help’s Vanya. It may seem silly to you right now but it's a tool that can be used to ground yourself. Whenever you feel overwhelmed or like it’s all too much I want you to close your eyes and count. Try to feel out and identify five things that are around you. That will help you feel more connected to the here and now. I'm not saying it's going to be easy but I promise you with time it will get better.”**_**_

“Five.” ( _ _The feeling of the counter warming up from her body heat where she pressed her face and palms against it__.) 

“Six”. ( _ _The squeak of the linoleum as she braced her feet along it to keep from slipping.__ ) 

“Seven.” ( _ _The sounds of street traffic down below them as it drifted in from the window.__ )

“Eight” ( _ _Luther and Diego’s voices as they discussed and argued about something silly. The frustration obvious in both their tones.__ )

“Nine” ( _ _The sound of Five’s feet as they paced along the wood of the only other room in the flat.__ ) 

“Ten” ( _ _His chalk scraping against the walls as he worried and mumbled, working his way through some difficult equation that she was sure would be so far beyond her it might as well have been another language__.)

She counted to ten over and over again, forcing herself to notice the things around her until she could finally breathe normally. She startled and cringed when she heard the sound of the single door separating the kitchen and the living area swing open. It took everything she had not to run again. 

“You okay,” a kind voice asked. 

She opened her eyes to find two sincere and troubled emerald orbs staring worriedly back into hers. 

“Not really,” She answered back tiredly. 

“Panic attack?” the man (Klaus his name is klaus. She really had to remember that.) asked in a sympathetic voice.

“Was it that obvious?” she asked, closing her eyes again. 

“Only to me.” Klaus said with a sigh “I’ve been dealing with them since I was nine so I recognized the signs. She doesn't mean to scare you, you know.” Vanya snapped her eyes back open and then sighed and pushed herself up and away from the sink. 

“I'm obvious about that too?”

“Well yeah. She looks at you and it's like you turn into this cornered animal who’s desperate for escape.”

“I don't mean to,” she told him earnestly. “It's just...she wants so much from me. She gets this look on her face when she sees me and I know she's expecting things. Things that I can’t give her. Not when I feel like this. We...we..weren't ever really close were we?” Klaus blinked and eyed her warily. 

“It’s complicated,” He told her, ”Allison has grown up a lot and...well I'm not sure how much I’m supposed to tell you. Five said we need to let your memories come back naturally. That if we force you...it could wind up hurting you. And as much as I hate to admit it he’s usually right.” 

“It’s okay,” she sighed, “I'm right and I know it th..there's too much jealousy there when I look at her. She...makes me feel inferior. And that’s if I can manage to get around the guilt that’s trying to eat me alive...It was so easy with Five. He just showed up and I knew I could trust him. Diego to an extent too. Hell, even you. I'm not sure why but I know I can tell you anything and it would be okay. I try to talk to Allison and it's like..” she bit her lip and sighed then looked up at him with big eyes full of earnestness, “It's like I'm on guard. Like I have to be careful of what I do or say because she can and will use it to hurt me. I can’t do it, Lau. I want to, but I can’t.” 

“You haven’t called me Lau since we were kids and Diego teased you for it.”

“I'm sorry should I not have? It just felt right. I won’t d…”

“Don't you dare say you won't do it again.” Klaus demanded, “I happen to like having a nickname.”

Vanya smiled helplessly at him and he grinned back. 

“What am I going to do about Allison?” she asked in a despairing voice. “She’s not going to let it go and leave me alone is she?”

“Probably not,” he told her with a sigh as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a side hug.

“I can’t give her what she wants, Lau. I just can’t.” 

“I know,” he told her sadly, “But she’s Allison and she doesn't really understand the meaning of the word no. I'm afraid, dear sister mine, that you are well and truly stuck. You’re just going to have to ride it out.” 

Vanya gave a whimper and let her head rest on his shoulder. 

“What if I can't?,” she asked in a disparaging voice, what if..”

A brilliant flash of blue went off and the comforting scent of ozone filled the air. Vanya lifted her eyes up to find Five staring at them worriedly

“What are you two doing?”

“Hiding from Allison,” Klaus answered truthfully as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Five’s face softened and he reached out to push her hair behind her ear. 

“Is she bothering you?” He asked worriedly.

“I don’t think she means too,” Vanya started, “It's just..”

“Oh come on Five you know how Allison is. And you also know how she was back there in the future. That’s weird.” Klaus said tilting his head as he talked, “Back there in the future, heh anyway. You know how Allison is of course she bothering her. Vanny’s just too nice to actually come out and say it.” 

Five sighed and mumbled to himself about people never listening to him until it was too late to stop shit from hitting the fan. “I’ll talk to her,” he finally said aloud and she could see the stress lines around his eyes tighten. He held his arms out in invitation and she gladly walked into them feeling her own stress leak out of her body as she leaned her head on his shoulder and he closed his arms around her. “Let’s just...Let’s just get through this dinner tonight and then I promise she won’t bother you again until you’re ready to talk. Okay?”

“Okay,” she whispered, breathing in his scent and letting it calm her. She felt her muscles start to loosen and relax. Five winced as he realized just exactly how wound up she’d been. 

“Come on,” he soothed as he pulled her towards the other room, “You can rest until we have to go while I keep crunching numbers.” Vanya turned her eyes to Klaus in apology only to see him smile.

“Go on,” he told her. “Resting is probably a good idea. God knows Dad’s not going to have any mercy on any of us.”

And that sent her into a whole other set of worries causing her to tense right back up again. Five led her back to the room he’d been working in and she froze for a tick, marveling at the chalk covered walls. 

“What is all this?” she asked innocently. 

“It’s a probability map.” He told her his voice serious.

“A what?”

“A probability map.” Her face scrunched up tight in confusion and he couldn't help but think it was cute. “Time is fickle,” he told her, “The slightest alteration in events can lead to massively different outcomes in the time continuum. He could tell she still wasn’t following so he stopped and thought for a minute. “Think of it this way, time is a straight line. Every little thing we do every minuscule throw away decision we make causes that line to split and branch and go off in very different directions creating our futures. With me so far?”

“I think so,” she nodded. 

“Good,” he praised. “Now, do you know what the butterfly effect is?” 

“You mean that old saying about how a butterfly's wings in Brazil can set off a Tornado in Texas?”

“Umhm that’s the one. Now imagine that we’re that butterfly and the future is that wind of change. This map can tell me where to direct that flutter to. I just have to find the right equations to make it work.”

“So is it working?” she asked in a guileless voice. 

“Unfortunately not at the moment. I can’t seem to get the right number. If I can just..”

“Five?” she asked worriedly.

“Hmm?” he asked, turning away from the walls to look at her again. 

“Take a nap with me?”

“Vanya I can't, I've got to…”

“Please,” she interrupted him again. “You’re not going to figure all this out within the next hour and if everything I’ve heard from you guys is true we’re going to need to be in top mental form tonight for dinner.” 

He really couldn't say no to her. As he lay down beside her he wondered at this point why he even bothered to try. Four minutes later he was out like a light.

****

“Five?” Someone pushed on his shoulder trying to make him get up “FIVE!!”

“What?” he demanded angrily, reaching out expecting to find Vanya’s warm body only to meet the cold side of an empty bed. 

“She’s getting ready,” Diego said in a voice that screamed ‘I'm rolling my eyes at you.’ “She asked me to see if I could come wake you up. It’s nearly 7 and that means we’ve only got thirty minutes before we have to go meet Daddy dearest.”

“Shit,” he mumbled, throwing off the covers and forcing himself to get out of the bed. His body screamed out at the loss of sleep and comfort but he ignored it and made his way out of the room to a shower. 

Twenty minutes later found them all standing in front of a massive restaurant that left Vanya feeling unsettled and underdressed. She bit her lip, shuffled her feet, and tugged on the black skirt Klaus had pulled from nowhere and insisted she wear saying the color and cut showed off her legs perfectly.

“You’re beautiful,” Five whispered in her ear as he reached out and took her hand. He pulled it to the corner of his elbow, patted it, and began to lead them all inside. “Stop worrying. This will all be over soon and then we can go back to the flat.” He seemed so sure of himself. But Vanya could see those stress lines pulling tight at the corner of his eyes, giving away his bluff. As much as she’d tried she couldn’t seem to stop worrying. She’d woken up to a light headache that had settled behind her eyes and the feeling that something bad, that she had no way of preventing, was about to happen. Klaus had taken one look at her and mercifully decided to take pity on her. He’d led her to the bathroom with instructions to shower and had then proceeded to take over making sure she was dressed with her makeup applied correctly.

When Five had come down from the nap she’d talked him into taking, he'd done a double-take and then stumbled as he looked her up and down in astonishment. She’d smiled at him shyly and he’d visibly shook himself, mumbled something about a shower then squeaked before stumbling into the bathroom and slamming the door. She was pretty sure she would love Klaus forever if only for that.

By the time he’d come out he'd composed himself and they had debated about whether they should take a car or just have him teleport them there. Aware of how sick it had made her, Vanya voted for the car and Five unwilling to experience what he called jumping sickness had agreed. She wasn’t exactly sure how he managed to pull a car out of thin air but he’d pulled up in this shiny black chrome encrusted monster and they’d somehow managed to cram all seven of themselves inside of it. Wait seven..? There wasn’t seven of them there were only six. Where on earth did she get the idea that there were seven of them? The headache was sharper now and she reached up with her free hand to pinch the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. 

“Vanya?” Five asked, pulling on her hand a bit. She'd looked around to find herself on an elevator, her brothers and sister all standing on the outside of it waiting for her.

“Oh,” she mumbled in apology, “I must have spaced out for a minute sorry.” 

“It's alright,” Five said, tugging on her hand again. “But we really do need to go before we’re late.” The feeling of dread intensified, causing her to hesitate again. Her stomach felt like it was full of acid, but Five looked at her worriedly and she slowly forced herself to walk off the elevator.

“It’s okay,” he tried to soothe her again as they made their way to a room down the hall. An older gentleman, she assumed had to be a waiter, stood before the door and Five handed over their invitations.

He raised his eyebrow at them curiously but then nodded and led them through a room that was full of what was obviously insanely rich people who believed themselves important. Glinting crystal chandeliers dripped from the ceiling and dotted the tables in the form of water glasses and if Vanya hadn’t known any better she would have believed herself to be in the ball scene of a Disney movie.

Every step Vanya took caused the dread to grow worse and, by the time the waiter had led them to the back room and shut the door, her slight headache had grown into a full-blown adult one. The place both looked and felt like a mausoleum. Gone were the crystal chandeliers and extravagance from the earlier rooms. This place wreaked of sadness. It was the setting of several of Vanya’s nightmares. Dark and haunting with a single overly large elaborately decked out table in the center of the room.

“Oh my God,” Allison whispered in disbelief. 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Diego whispered adding in his two cents.

“It’s just like…” Klaus started.

“Yeah,” Five whispered, swallowing hard, “Home. It’s just like home.” He clutched desperately at Vanya's hand and then, as if on autopilot, he automatically led her to the end of the table where he pulled out her chair and helped her sit. He moved the chair on her right and lowered himself into it and she could hear Klaus settling into the one to her left.

Something wasn’t right. Something was horribly, horribly wrong. Klaus wasn't supposed to be sitting beside her; he was supposed to be further up the table with Diego. Someone… Someone else was supposed to be on her left. Someone very important and dear. Someone….Books they had something to do with books and...the headache bloomed into a full-blown migraine and she whimpered as she put her head in her hands.

__“Books are magical things, Vanya.”_ _

The voice filled her mind causing a hollow ache to fill her being. Something was missing and wrong and her head hurt so bad but that voice.... she wanted to know who it was. She needed to know because….

(NO!!)

(YES!!) Vanya screamed back mentally acknowledging the voice in her head for the very first time. The pain intensified once again and it was as if she was fighting a great war within herself. 

(Give them back!! Their mine!!! They belong to me!!) 

__“Books are magical things, Vanya. They can take us on a thousand…. ”_ _

(GIVE HIM BACK!!)

(YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE ASKING FOR!)

(GIVE HIM BACK!!) She demanded again and it was as if a giant bubble popped and gave way within her mind.

__She was alone again. But what else was new. She’d just managed to master Sibelius’s only concerto, her hands aching, fingers shredded with the proof, and Five... wasn’t even here to listen. Dad had sent (forced on Fives’ part) both he and Allison on another trip for another series of interviews in LA and while Five had protested quite venomously that he’d rather stay behind with her, she couldn’t help but wonder if he’d actually meant it. Dad called them necessary evils. A sacrifice that had to be made for the good of the Academy. But Five, well Five had a very different name for it._ _

__Allison on the other hand was a different story. She thrived on the attention, always coming home with exciting stories and some new article of clothing or special trinket that she made sure to flash and fawn over in Vanya’s general line of sight. One time she’d come home with a pretty green silk top that was hideous on her. Even Luther in his own bumbling way had been forced to tell her it wasn’t her best look. Horrified, Allison had tossed it into the nearest trash bin and would have forgotten about it if it hadn’t been for one thing. Vanya dug it out. Believing that since she’d thrown it away she obviously didn't want it. Vanya had rescued the poor thing and had taken it back to her room where she’d put it on and modeled it in front of her mirror. It had looked decent. She knew she was no beauty queen but the cut and color had been flattering against her pale skin and for the first time in her life she’d felt pretty. She’d made the mistake of wearing it down to dinner where Allison had taken one look at her and proceeded to have a fit. She had accused her of being a dirty thief, a trash diver, and several other things that left Vanya feeling small and worthless and more embarrassed than she ever had before in all her short life. Her chin had wobbled and she'd been unable to stop several tears escaping her eyes and trailing down her cheeks. Five who’d been silent up until that point just like all the rest of her siblings had seen the tears and lost his battle to remain silent._ _

__“You really are some piece of work, you know that?”_ _

__“What?” Allison had asked enraged that he would dare call her out in front of the others._ _

__“You heard me,” he demanded rudely. “Your stylist told you that shirt didn’t suit you and you still brought it back to the mansion with you anyway. The only logical reason for you to do that was…”_ _

__That was when Dad had shown up._ _

__“Number Five, Number Three what is the meaning of this?” “Both Five and Allison had snapped their mouths closed suddenly going mute. Five not willing for any of them to get into trouble and Allison worried about herself. His eyes had locked on them demanding an answer and then turned to look at the other five when he didn’t get one._ _

__“Number Seven is there something wrong with your uniform?” he demanded when he’d reached Vanya. His eyes had surveyed her taking in the green shirt and her tear-stained face and he’d seemed to go even more emotionless and terrifying than usual. Vanya froze in fear, her eyes darting around the table looking for an escape she knew she wasn’t going to find. Five had closed his eyes in defeat but Allison had stared back meeting her fear with a nervous smile. Dad had called for Pogo and Vanya didn't really remember much of what happened after that. Just flashes of the dark and a great gaping emptiness that threatened to swallow her whole. The next thing she was able to recall clearly was Five’s desperate blue eyes as he grabbed and pulled her into an uncharacteristically desperate hug demanding to know where she’d been and informing her that she’d lost two weeks that time._ _

__Needless to say, she’d never been stupid enough to mess with Allison’s things again after that. Whether she’d tossed them away or not. She shrugged off the memories and continued to sulk as she made her way down the dark hallway trying to find something to do. The others were playing a rousing game of tag all over the house that she very clearly wasn’t invited to and why would she want to play with them anyway? They’d cheat and use their powers and Pogo always wound up scolding them for it in the end so really she was far better off making her own fun and exploring what new mysteries she could find in the mansion on her own._ _

__Desperate to believe that, she carried on down the hall until she finally came upon the doors to the library. Deciding it couldn’t hurt, and she was bored enough, she opened the door only to find someone waiting on the other side._ _

__(STOP THIS NOW LITTLE SONGBIRD. LOOK AWAY. YOU DON’T WANT TO REMEMBER THIS. NOTHING GOOD WILL COME FROM IT. ONLY PAIN. LOOK AWAY LOOK AWAY NOW!)_ _

__(NO!! I CAN’T! I WANT TO KNOW! I WANT TO REMEMBER! GIVE IT BACK TO ME NOW!)_ _

__Number six was sitting at one of the tables, several books surrounding him as he mumbled quietly to himself and turned a page. He picked up a pen and jotted something down on the tablet he had resting beside him and she must have made some kind of noise because he’d startled and dropped the book to the table, losing his place inside._ _

__“Shit!” he cursed scrambling to pick it back up and find the right page. Vanya couldn't stop an innocent giggle from escaping her lips at the picture he'd made. He’d looked up at her with big doe humor-filled eyes then and let out a little chuckle himself._ _

__“Hi, Vee,” he said with a happy smile, “What are you doing here?”_ _

__“Not much,” she told him melancholically. “I thought you were off playing with the others."_ _

__"Nah, they're just running around and I get enough of that in training. You're bored huh?" He asked in a sympathetic tone. "Probably missing Five too." She bit her lip and nodded staring down at the floor beneath her._ _

__"Well, you can help me out if you want. I'm trying to read up on the butterfly effect. Five mentioned it the other day and I've been trying to figure it out ever since."_ _

__"Why not just ask him about it, “she questioned in a curious voice, “Wouldn't that be easier?"_ _

__"Well yeah, I guess it would be, but then I'd be missing out on the journey."_ _

__"Journey?" She asked bewilderedly._ _

__"Uh-huh,” he told her happily, “Don't you know about the journey Vee? Don't you know about books?"_ _

__She shook her head sadly feeling left out and inadequate again._ _

__"Excellent," he said, startling her as his amber eyes glowed with childish delight. "That means I get to tell you the secret."_ _

__"Secret?" She asked, feeling a spark of interest. No one, not even Five had ever shared a secret with her before._ _

__"Uh-huh," he told her leaning close and smiling, "Books are magical things, Vanya. They can take us on a thousand journeys, a million different places where anything is possible. All at our fingertips. And the best part of all...there’s no Dad to ruin them.”_ _

__"Really?" she asked her voice laced with disbelief._ _

__"Really," he answered back just as full of conviction. “Hmm, here I'll show you.” He went to the massive stacks, climbed one of the ladders and started looking through the spines of several books. “Let's see, I don’t think this one will work. It's too close to home. Not this one. hmm, Lord of the rings would be nice but it's too long for you're first. The Hobbit though...yeah that would definitely work. It's fun and not too hard to follow.” He climbed back down the ladder and made his way back to the tables and her. “C’mon, “the butterflies fluttering their wings in Brazil and setting off Tornadoes in Texas can wait a few hours. I'm going to read a book with my favorite sister.”_ _

__“I’m your favorite sister,” Vanya asked in disbelief._ _

__“Of course.” he winked. “Just don’t tell Allison. All I need is for her to start breathing down my neck.” He led her over to the bean bag chairs he’d begged Pogo for. He hadn’t come through of course but Five, on the other hand, had done as he always had for Vanya and somehow managed to smuggle them in for him. If Pogo noticed, he turned a blind eye to it and Six had been all the happier for it. He settled into the big blue one then waited for Vanya to sit in the red one._ _

__“Ready?” he asked, nearly vibrating in his seat with excitement. She nodded and with a giant smile he then opened the book and Vanya’s whole world changed._ _

_**_**“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort……..”** _ ** _

Oh God her head was killing her. It hurt so bad but there was another person who was supposed to be here number six. Number six who'd taught her about books who'd loved them and in turn taught her to love them too. Why wasn't he here why…

"Vannie?" A worried voice called to her left, “Are you okay?”She turned to Klaus, her head nearly splitting open. 

“Lau?” She asked in a little girl voice, “where's Six? He should be here. Why isn’t he here?” Klaus reared back as if he’d been slapped and Vanya knew that reaction couldn't mean anything good, so giving a little sob she turned her attention back inside to the fight for her memories.

__Five was gone, he was gone and she was still here. Alone. Hed promised he was going to take her with him. Sworn that he would never leave her behind. Ha, what a joke. Now here she was seven months later and she hadn’t seen hide nor hair of him since. Dad said he was lost and he would find his way home but Vanya wasn’t so sure. If she had gotten away she knew she’d never look back. So why would he? Her throat closed up and she could feel the tears start to build up in her eyes again. She was stupid so stupid. Why on earth had she gotten her hopes up and believed in him. He was just like the rest he…._ _

__“Vee?” A worried voice called out from behind the shadows are you here?_ _

__“Go away, Six.” She mumbled, whipping her eyes and burying her face further into her knees. She’d hoped that by using his number he’d get that she was serious and leave her alone. He didn’t_ _

__She heard him shuffle around in the dark then finally come into sight._ _

__“Allison,” he informed her in a very serious voice, “is an Asshole and has no idea what she’s talking about.”_ _

__“But she’s right,” Vanya whimpered. “It’s been seven months. Everyone else has accepted it. I’m the only idiot who won’t. I just keep making sandwiches like he’s going to come around the corner any moment because it’s all I can do. She’s right. I’m an idiot and should just accept that he’s never coming back. I just...I don’t know-how. I don’t know how I’m supposed to just accept that I’m never going to see or hear his voice again. I.. shit,” she cursed and began to cry again. He sighed and moved so he was behind her and pulled her protesting form into a hug._ _

__“Do you think I’ve accepted it? Do you really believe I think he’s gone for good?”_ _

__“Seven months,” she sniffed, whipping her nose and eyes on her sleeve, “Seven months. He never intended to keep his promises to me. He...”_ _

__“That’s Allison talking.” he told her angrily. She looked up in startled disbelief, the tears and snot mixing together on her face contributing to the mess she knew she was. Six was never angry with her. Never. Next to Five he’d been the one person she’d known she could go to without consequences._ _

__“You’ve told me yourself that most of the stuff she says is bullshit. Five loves you and you know it.” She stared at him with swollen desperate eyes and he sighed again. “Something happened Vee. I don’t know what but we both know he wouldn’t have willingly left you here.”_ _

__“You think he’s dead,” she whispered hoarsely, feeling dread fill her body. Believing he had left her was one thing. It was easier. Believing he was dead though…._ _

__“No I don’t,” he interrupted and she took comfort in how sure he sounded. “I think….I think we would be able to feel it if he was. I know that sounds crazy but I believe we’re all connected in some way so…” He shook his head and looked down at her leaving that train of thought alone. “Besides, Klaus says he hasn’t seen him. No, he’s not dead Vee but something really bad has happened. We’re just going to have to wait until he’s able to work it out and find a way back.”_ _

__“I wish he would hurry.” She mumbled shifting so she could rest her head on his shoulder. “I'm getting tired of waiting.”_ _

__“Me too Vee,” he said squeezing her shoulders tighter for comfort. “Me too”_ _

“FIVE,” Klaus called his voice frantic. “Pay attention. Something’s wrong with Vanya.”

“What do you mean something’s wrong…” She felt her chair move and Five was suddenly in her line of vision as he squatted down in front of her chair. “Vanya? Sweetheart can you hear me?” He snapped his fingers in front of her face and she flinched away from it. 

“She was asking about Ben,” Klaus said worriedly. “Wanted to know where he was. I…” 

“What did you tell her?” Five demanded angrily cradling her face in his hands.

‘Ben,’ Vanya thought, His name was Ben. That's who’s missing. She fell back into another memory. 

__Something was wrong. Something was very very wrong. Vanya wasn’t sure what it was but she felt like a piece of her was raw and missing. The mission alarm had gone off right as breakfast had started and Ben had had just enough time to pass his book to her and ask her to keep it safe. Dad had barked at him to hurry and he’d given her a strained smile before following the others into the study. He never had liked missions. Preferring the library and its books to any made up adventure Dad decided to send them on. That had been a good five hours ago. Mom had tried to get her to concentrate on her studies and she had, right up until she’d felt the sudden and tearable tearing sensation in the pit of her stomach. She’d doubled over in loss and pain and for a few moments it had felt as if she were dying. She gasped for breath desperate to get air into her lungs. When she was finally able to sit up again both Mom and Pogo were standing over her worriedly asking her what happened and if she were okay. She reached up to move her hair out of her face surprised to find it was wet. Had she been crying? Why? There was nothing to cry over, everything was fine wasn't it? She looked up at mom puzzled. Mom just smiled her plastic smile and continued telling Pogo that she was fine now. Her vitals were normal and whatever had happened must have been a temporary thing. Then the ancient phone on the desk that they had been informed never to touch rang. She watched as Pogo’s face fell into lines of grief as he answered it then told whoever was on the other end that he understood. He finally hung it up then went to Grace and whispered something who nodded, the smile twitching but ultimately staying on her face._ _

__“Vanya honey, I think we’ve had enough of books today. Why don’t you go to your room and practice that new piece for me? Do you think you can do that for me? Hmm?” If the alarms hadn’t been blaring in her mind before they were now. Mom never let them off early from studies. Not even when Five had disappeared._ _

__“What's wrong?” She asked feeling the dread and that strange new and cold empty place in her stomach build._ _

__“Nothing is wrong sweety I just need to go help Pogo with something. Now go on, go to your room and practice. I’ll be by later tonight and you’ll want those notes to be perfect.”_ _

__“Mom?” She asked again._ _

__“Vanya go practice.” she said again this time in a stern voice she’d never heard from Mom before._ _

__Vanya gave a weak nod and the smile flitted back onto Grace's face._ _

__“That’s my girl,” she praised and followed Vanya back to her room, making sure she’d picked up her violin and started playing before closing the door._ _

__Vanya tried, she really did, but each note only made her more frantic and before she knew it she was sitting the instrument down and making her way to the main hall where she knew the others would have to pass when they got back. She’d been sitting in one of the high wingback chairs for about an hour when..._ _

__(Don't do this little songbird please. Listen to us. We don’t want to go through this again. You don't want to go through this again. Please listen.)_ _

__(NO!! I want to know! I need to KNOW!!)_ _

__(Then so be it. We can’t protect you if you won’t let us.)_ _

__She’d been sitting in one of the high wingback chairs for about an hour when the door burst open and Abhijat came rushing through it. He was pushing what looked like a long wheeled table, only the table cloth was...well it was soaked in blood especially around its middle and it looked like it had a person beneath it. Dad was following directly behind him and he looked as still and emotionless as ever._ _

__“Take it to the med bay,” he barked. “Make sure Grace and Pogo know what to do with it.” Abhijat nodded and began to wheel the table through the living area back to what she assumed was the med bay._ _

__He sighed and turned his eyes on the room and froze when he saw Vanya sitting in the chair._ _

__“What are you doing here,” he asked in an angry voice “I specifically told Pogo to….I don’t have time for this... Grace!!” he called moving out the door and down the Hall “GRACE!!”...It was in that moment Luther came through the doors, he was covered in blood which really wasn’t anything new but his face...Oh God his face. His eyes were red and huge and his nose was running. It was obvious he’d been crying._ _

__“Luther,” she asked softly…_ _

__He turned to her and it was as if he couldn't see her._ _

__“I tried,” he said softly, still looking right through her. “I tried to stop it but I couldn't. He was already too far gone. He just kept screaming and I couldn't. I couldn't hold him together I…”_ _

__It was at that moment the others came through the door._ _

__“Leave him alone,” Allison demanded her face a mixture of blood tears and snot._ _

__“I tried Allison.” Luther said turning away from his blood covered hands and looking at her in desperation. “I tried so hard to hold him together but I couldn't…..I couldn’t” He burst into helpless tears and Allison immediately moved over and hugged him, sobbing out that she knew he had and it wasn’t his fault._ _

__Vanya gulped as she started to get a picture of what happened in her mind but was desperate for it to be wrong._ _

__“Where...Where’s Ben she asked in a half hysterical voice.”_ _

__Allison shot her a venomous look over Luther's shoulder but ultimately ignored her in favor of whispering comforting things into Luther's ear._ _

__“Where’s Ben?” she asked again, feeling the hysteria and something else build up inside of her she’d never experienced before._ _

__Luther just cried harder and Diego sneered._ _

__“Klaus?” She asked desperately “Lau where’s Six? Where's Ben?”_ _

__Klaus tried to open his mouth but nothing came out and he only looked at the ground and shook his head._ _

__“Where do you think he is?” Diego asked in a horse angry voice. “Stop torturing us Vanya and use your brain.”_ _

__“No” she whispered Hysterically “Nooo. You’re lying you have to be he….He wouldnt leave me too he…”_ _

__“He’s Dead Vanya. And you know it.”_ _

__Her world shattered. Okay, she decided if hers was going to be shattered well, then everyone else's would be too. Her body filled with power and….she felt the prick of a needle and felt it dissipate as her body began to shut down. She welcomed the darkness._ _

__“Take her to her room. I’m going to have to give her a higher dosage this time. All we need is for……”_ _

__And mercifully she knew no more._ _

Oh God, Oh God Ben was dead, he was Dead...she looked up into Fives’ worried blue eyes and let out a wail of anguish before throwing herself into his arms.

“Ben’s dead Five,” she sobbed “he’s dead.”

“I know,” he comforted her, holding her tight against him and rocking her back and forth “I know.”

“Dad just...He just rolled him in the door and told Abhijat to take care of it. Like he was a thing like he didn’t matter I…” she hiccuped and sobbed into his shoulder again. 

“How could he do that. He was supposed to be our Dad he...He mattered Five. He mattered so much.”

“I know he did,” he told her softly still rocking her. “I know.” 

“I HATE HIM,” she exclaimed into his shoulder “I HATE HIM!”

“I know that too.” She could hear Allison crying in the background and she couldn't bring herself to care. This was all too much. The voice had warned her and she almost wished she had listened. She hiccuped again and tried to bury herself into Five to let his scent and embrace comfort her and she had almost succeeded when the door opened.

“Well,” the voice from her nightmares invaded her ears. “Not only have you burglarized my lab, set my Chimp loose, conned your way into the Mexician consulate, repeatedly stalked and attacked me but you have, on numerous occasions called me…Dad. My reconnaissance tells me you’re not CIA, KGB and certainly not MI5...so...Who are you.”

Five was still kneeled on the floor holding her and she could hear Diego murmur a ‘heartless’ in the background. She sniffed the tears still falling unstoppably down her face and moved away from Five a bit. She wanted to see him. She wanted to see this monster they’d called Dad who murdered her brother as surely as if he’d shot him. Five held her close for a second longer but then loosened his grip and let her go. She turned and looked into the monster's face and felt her world crumble again.

__“Take it to the med bay,” he barked. “Make sure Grace and Pogo know what to do with it.”_ _

Vanya tried hard, she really did, but the anger was overpowering and she couldn't deal. So she clenched her fist and like she had back in 2019 she closed her eyes.

And Seven opened them.

**Author's Note:**

> So there you have it. This monster has been slayed. Please leave a review and tell me if you liked it. See yah next time.


End file.
